About theboringdolphin : hi everyone(: I love people with an awesome sense of humor, I love to read & listen to music. I'm into Anime and I'm in a couple of fandoms. I'm not sure what else to say about myself but if you wanna know more feel free to leave a message!
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theboringdolphin's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/23/2014 at 4:48pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML
by wowdadreally / 12/23/2014 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 12/23/2014 at 6:28am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous
Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML
by Soulara89 / 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by koolkat9 / 12/22/2014 at 2:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by bxjxj / 12/22/2014 at 1:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/22/2014 at 11:27am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Transportation
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
by ScottyB / 12/22/2014 at 3:05am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/22/2014 at 2:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML
by gunnerette / 12/21/2014 at 3:30am / Cyprus (Larnaca) / Love
by sexualpopcorn / 12/20/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML
by KalaKa / 12/20/2014 at 3:45pm / United States / Love
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
by qyx3lmnop24 / 12/20/2014 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Love
by drbckflps / 12/17/2014 at 7:48pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML
by missca / 12/15/2014 at 11:35pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…