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Offline (the 08/05/2015 at 1:57am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 August 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6613
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About theboringdolphin : hi everyone(: I love people with an awesome sense of humor, I love to read & listen to music. I'm into Anime and I'm in a couple of fandoms. I'm not sure what else to say about myself but if you wanna know more feel free to leave a message!

theboringdolphin's page activity

Visits<b>dantee2005</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 11:50pm<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:47pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Relf</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:07am<b>rydin10</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:52pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 7:40pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Fgjvshnb</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:06am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:25am<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:53am<b>MRITCHEZ</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:17am<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:43pm<b>ausmoss123</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:18am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:07am<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:10am<b>jjumprope</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:42am<b>SimplyCyrax</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Nagi</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:02pm

Fucked!<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:43pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:20am<b>jjumprope</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:42pm<b>eliiteXXXninja</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:55pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:39pm<b>1Nsan3</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 7:16am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 11:05am

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theboringdolphin's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

by fail / 08/18/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

by frustrated / 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm / Ireland (Kerry) / Intimacy

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" / 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Love

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

by why / 08/17/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2013 at 6:52am / United States / Kids

Today, I discovered that when my crush leans in to kiss me, I get so nervous I throw up. Then throw up again thinking about how embarrassed I am. FML

by love-shot / 08/17/2013 at 4:24am / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

by mugres22 / 08/17/2013 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML

by Suprise / 08/17/2013 at 12:38am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

by JacksWag4 / 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

by that's methed up, darling / 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

by justwantingtohelp / 08/16/2013 at 1:02am / United States (Michigan) / Kids