Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

theboringdolphin

Offline (the 07/28/2015 at 2:04am) | Search for a member

theboringdolphin

8Fucked!

theboringdolphintheboringdolphin
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3812
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About theboringdolphin : hi everyone(: I love people with an awesome sense of humor, I love to read & listen to music. I'm into Anime and I'm in a couple of fandoms. I'm not sure what else to say about myself but if you wanna know more feel free to leave a message!

theboringdolphin's page activity

Visits<b>ricardof</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Relf</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:07am<b>rydin10</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:52pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 7:40pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Fgjvshnb</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:06am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:25am<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:53am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:47pm<b>MRITCHEZ</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:17am<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:43pm<b>ausmoss123</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:18am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:07am<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:10am<b>jjumprope</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:42am<b>SimplyCyrax</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Nagi</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:02pm<b>eliiteXXXninja</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:55pm

Fucked!<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:43pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:20am<b>jjumprope</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:42pm<b>eliiteXXXninja</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:55pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:39pm<b>1Nsan3</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 7:16am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 10:35pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 11:05am

theboringdolphin's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of theboringdolphin's badges

theboringdolphin's favorite FMLs

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55088) - you deserved it (4603)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

#20841540
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59703) - you deserved it (6922)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46969) - you deserved it (7614)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that when my crush leans in to kiss me, I get so nervous I throw up. Then throw up again thinking about how embarrassed I am. FML

#20841404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46344) - you deserved it (7329)

On 08/17/2013 at 4:24am - love - by love-shot - United States (Kansas)

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

#20841231
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45483) - you deserved it (3054)

On 08/17/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by mugres22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML

#20841179
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44297) - you deserved it (8515)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by Suprise - United States

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49019) - you deserved it (20155)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

#20840638
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37830) - you deserved it (5719)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm - misc - by that's methed up, darling (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

#20840603
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51050) - you deserved it (5621)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

#20839746
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51977) - you deserved it (3020)

On 08/16/2013 at 1:02am - kids - by justwantingtohelp - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

#20839682
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44421) - you deserved it (4500)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

#20839551
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40615) - you deserved it (9555)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36373) - you deserved it (28272)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, and when the scene came on where the girl is crawling out of the TV, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

#20838885
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43079) - you deserved it (7735)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by insomniac x2 (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: