theboringdolphin

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Offline (the 08/05/2015 at 1:57am)

theboringdolphin

8Fucked!

theboringdolphintheboringdolphin
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 August 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5676
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About theboringdolphin : hi everyone(: I love people with an awesome sense of humor, I love to read & listen to music. I'm into Anime and I'm in a couple of fandoms. I'm not sure what else to say about myself but if you wanna know more feel free to leave a message!

theboringdolphin's page activity

Visits<b>dantee2005</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 11:50pm<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:47pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Relf</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:07am<b>rydin10</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:52pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 7:40pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Fgjvshnb</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:06am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:25am<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:53am<b>MRITCHEZ</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:17am<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:43pm<b>ausmoss123</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:18am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:07am<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:10am<b>jjumprope</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:42am<b>SimplyCyrax</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Nagi</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:02pm

Fucked!<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:43pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:20am<b>jjumprope</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:42pm<b>eliiteXXXninja</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:55pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:39pm<b>1Nsan3</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 7:16am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 11:05am

theboringdolphin's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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theboringdolphin's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

by trp007 / 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2014 at 5:07pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

by =( / 04/05/2014 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

by armtits and big pits / 04/05/2014 at 3:14am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Health

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

by kubbyp / 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML

by Welshite / 04/03/2014 at 4:53pm / United States / Work

Today, my mom brought her sleazy boyfriend home. He took one look at me, swatted my ass, and said, "It runs in the family." My mom just laughed and winked at me, and mouthed, "He's a keeper!" FML

by wiona / 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, my dog wouldn't stop pestering me while I was eating some chocolate mousse. I tried to get him to leave me alone for a bit by pretending to throw the mousse far away. The pot stayed in my hand, but I covered the furniture in chocolate mousse. My dog enjoyed cleaning it up. FML

by MonsieurH / 04/03/2014 at 3:44am / France (Bretagne) / Animals

Today, the girl I've been dating for two weeks brought up the topic of marriage, then started asking me when we're moving in together. FML

by fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc / 04/02/2014 at 5:22pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Love

Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML

by anon / 03/31/2014 at 6:10pm / United States (New York) / Health