About theboringdolphin : hi everyone(: I love people with an awesome sense of humor, I love to read & listen to music. I'm into Anime and I'm in a couple of fandoms. I'm not sure what else to say about myself but if you wanna know more feel free to leave a message!
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theboringdolphin's favorite FMLs
by thanks for the $5 gift voucher / 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 11:47am / United States (Arkansas) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 10:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, the main file and backups of the book I've been writing for 2 and a half years mysteriously vanished. It turned out my mum decided that me spending so much time in my room must mean I'm watching porn, and so she trashed everything. FML
by 4lphab3t4 / 06/11/2015 at 10:37am / United Kingdom (Harrow) / Miscellaneous
Today, after handing over the cash to buy my sister's car off her, she refused to sign any of the paperwork, and later put an ad on Craigslist selling the same car. I got scammed by my own sister. FML
by Kassutera / 06/06/2015 at 7:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by thebiteof87 / 06/01/2015 at 8:06am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML
by Elrond Hubbard / 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm / Romania (Giurgiu) / Animals
Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
by nosexforthee / 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML
by Ineedlotsofwater / 01/23/2015 at 11:41am / United States (Washington) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/23/2015 at 9:58am / United States / Love
by mdg41 / 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2015 at 6:57am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 8:35am / Australia / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…