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theboos

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theboos
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theboos's favorite FMLs

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97938) - you deserved it (6726)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104425) - you deserved it (14016)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107750) - you deserved it (8042)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94144) - you deserved it (4541)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

#4356105
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77150) - you deserved it (6123)

On 08/07/2009 at 4:55am - love - by notsomuchinlove (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

#3691268
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79560) - you deserved it (11985)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118369) - you deserved it (8672)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113666) - you deserved it (71756)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112999) - you deserved it (4872)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for 3 hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

#2267946
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78883) - you deserved it (4352)

On 05/25/2009 at 4:54am - intimacy - by ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81439) - you deserved it (222514)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principal came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML

#1163738
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94960) - you deserved it (4168)

On 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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