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thebigslim

Offline (the 01/24/2015 at 5:36am) | Search for a member

thebigslim

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 July 1979 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13868
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About thebigslim : Smartass by nature..... and is it just me, or is it next to impossible to get your own FML published on here?

thebigslim's page activity

Visits<b>alecfreddie</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:55pm<b>horsehaed7</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 3:35pm<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 1:10am<b>ForeverAlone247</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:13am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:43pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:08pm<b>lndala</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:32pm<b>HialedMovie</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:13pm<b>noik01</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:56am<b>moonchic</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:49am<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 8:02am<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:59am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:46am<b>leaswaim</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:43am<b>3051628</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:12am<b>cole_tyler42</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:33am<b>thepurplewalrus</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:56am<b>Shrekie</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:50am

Liked!<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:10am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:43pm<b>Shrekie</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:50am<b>chefcow</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:31am

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thebigslim's favorite FMLs

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42539) - you deserved it (17756)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65616) - you deserved it (7384)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19329) - you deserved it (66014)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while making my son lunch, he pooped, took off his diaper, stepped in it, and then climbed to the gate to call for me. When I arrived, he had a big smile on his face and exclaimed, "Look!" Shit footprints were everywhere. FML

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17885) - you deserved it (75169)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, I was at the mall with my friends, when a creepy man sat at the table next to us, and started rubbing his crotch, his gaze never leaving my feet. FML

#15482559
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37075) - you deserved it (3796)

On 03/25/2011 at 1:31pm - intimacy - by ewww - United States

Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML

#15441546
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11503) - you deserved it (42490)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML

#15239631
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8432) - you deserved it (92348)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML

#15226088
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39729) - you deserved it (5607)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by dizzy (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21501) - you deserved it (41850)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21086) - you deserved it (32843)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46321) - you deserved it (13274)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15413) - you deserved it (58945)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68380) - you deserved it (6286)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69985) - you deserved it (6583)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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