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thebigslim

Offline (the 05/30/2015 at 6:23am) | Search for a member

thebigslim

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 July 1979 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14520
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About thebigslim : Smartass by nature..... and is it just me, or is it next to impossible to get your own FML published on here?

thebigslim's page activity

Visits<b>deathcreep25</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Airshock22</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:51am<b>nothemother</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:42am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:54pm<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:29pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:09pm<b>alecfreddie</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:55pm<b>horsehaed7</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 3:35pm<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 1:10am<b>ForeverAlone247</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:13am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:43pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:08pm<b>lndala</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:32pm<b>HialedMovie</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:13pm<b>noik01</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:56am<b>moonchic</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:49am<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 8:02am<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:59am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:54pm<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:10am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:43pm<b>Shrekie</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:50am<b>chefcow</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:31am

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thebigslim's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

#19739017
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24568) - you deserved it (7278)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15128) - you deserved it (28599)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11583) - you deserved it (42831)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to put my bra on. FML

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38582) - you deserved it (3182)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13786) - you deserved it (31661)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML

#19363269
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23464) - you deserved it (10384)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

#19152486
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (5272)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34364) - you deserved it (5012)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML

#19113154
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39473) - you deserved it (7987)

On 02/19/2012 at 4:15am - intimacy - by meet Chloe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was greeting customers at work. After saying good morning to one man, he stopped and looked at me from head to toe before smirking and saying, "Mmmm." He then turned around and said, "It's starting." It's only my first day. FML

#18912868
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22772) - you deserved it (2480)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37338) - you deserved it (4080)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32060) - you deserved it (5003)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37090) - you deserved it (12874)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12858) - you deserved it (46815)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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