thebigslim

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Offline (the 04/09/2016 at 6:22am)

thebigslim

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 July 1979 (37 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 16384
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About thebigslim : Smartass by nature..... and is it just me, or is it next to impossible to get your own FML published on here?

thebigslim's page activity

Visits<b>Pixelatedpotato</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 11:55am<b>Dilexar</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 2:47am<b>SpectreZ</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:11am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 8:03pm<b>wearablepear7</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 10:14am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 5:19am<b>celebi82</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:58pm<b>grunt2423</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:20pm<b>wobbly1</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:23pm<b>Winterborn253</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:16pm<b>maddod26</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 12:21pm<b>Justin1459</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:06am<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 4:12pm<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 12:05am<b>Laeffy</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 2:30pm<b>ben57rocks</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 8:20pm<b>glossykarma</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:00pm<b>nuka_cola</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:34pm

Fucked!<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:12pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:05am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:54pm<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:10am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:43pm<b>Shrekie</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:50am<b>chefcow</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:31am

thebigslim's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of thebigslim's badges

thebigslim's favorite FMLs

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

by MrAwsum / 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I had a gymnastics meet. I thought I was done with my period, but when I was up on the beam warming up my routine, one of my coaches called me down and told me that I apparently wasn't. My coach goes around asking my teammates moms if they had any pads. My dad caught this all on tape. FML

by Noname / 03/17/2009 at 4:35pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML

by Recon / 03/17/2009 at 8:16am / Switzerland (Basel-Stadt) / Money

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

by Noname / 03/17/2009 at 3:19am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

by princess / 03/17/2009 at 1:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

by illequipt / 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

by twit / 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I heard back from my store management interview at Target. I was offered an overnight stock clerk position. When I called HR to find out if my application was in the wrong file I was told I lack the leadership qualities necessary for Target. I graduated with honors from a military school. FML

by yanksbitethebig1 / 03/15/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

by thankskimi / 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

by Jon / 03/14/2009 at 2:30am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

by theassman / 03/11/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML

by musicaddict / 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy