Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

thebigslim

Offline (the 07/01/2015 at 6:53am) | Search for a member

thebigslim

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 July 1979 (36 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14731
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About thebigslim : Smartass by nature..... and is it just me, or is it next to impossible to get your own FML published on here?

thebigslim's page activity

Visits<b>nuka_cola</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:34pm<b>XxeftxX</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 5:01pm<b>skylercoombs</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 9:40pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:05pm<b>deathcreep25</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Airshock22</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:51am<b>nothemother</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:42am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:54pm<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:29pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:09pm<b>alecfreddie</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:55pm<b>horsehaed7</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 3:35pm<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 1:10am<b>ForeverAlone247</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:13am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:43pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:08pm<b>lndala</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:32pm<b>HialedMovie</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:13pm

Fucked!<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:05am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:54pm<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:10am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:43pm<b>Shrekie</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:50am<b>chefcow</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:31am

thebigslim's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of thebigslim's badges

thebigslim's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a gymnastics meet. I thought I was done with my period, but when I was up on the beam warming up my routine, one of my coaches called me down and told me that I apparently wasn't. My coach goes around asking my teammates moms if they had any pads. My dad caught this all on tape. FML

#415584
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72779) - you deserved it (7299)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML

#409168
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95814) - you deserved it (7712)

On 03/17/2009 at 8:16am - money - by Recon (man) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

#407679
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21834) - you deserved it (58072)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (145999) - you deserved it (39019)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (194935) - you deserved it (30724)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (226736) - you deserved it (37461)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I heard back from my store management interview at Target. I was offered an overnight stock clerk position. When I called HR to find out if my application was in the wrong file I was told I lack the leadership qualities necessary for Target. I graduated with honors from a military school. FML

#357279
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79936) - you deserved it (5741)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by yanksbitethebig1 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
559 comments

I agree, your life sucks (534633) - you deserved it (37582)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

#320737
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73535) - you deserved it (17222)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

#316812
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84861) - you deserved it (6047)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
524 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59728) - you deserved it (327264)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

#267368
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25259) - you deserved it (77277)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by theassman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML

#261901
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73865) - you deserved it (23084)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

#260982
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29378) - you deserved it (87204)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

#256127
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (141655) - you deserved it (6410)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: