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thebigslim

Offline (the 01/24/2015 at 5:36am) | Search for a member

thebigslim

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 July 1979 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13904
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About thebigslim : Smartass by nature..... and is it just me, or is it next to impossible to get your own FML published on here?

thebigslim's page activity

Visits<b>alecfreddie</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:55pm<b>horsehaed7</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 3:35pm<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 1:10am<b>ForeverAlone247</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:13am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:43pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:08pm<b>lndala</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:32pm<b>HialedMovie</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:13pm<b>noik01</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:56am<b>moonchic</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:49am<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 8:02am<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:59am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:46am<b>leaswaim</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:43am<b>3051628</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:12am<b>cole_tyler42</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:33am<b>thepurplewalrus</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:56am<b>Shrekie</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:50am

Liked!<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:10am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:43pm<b>Shrekie</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:50am<b>chefcow</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:31am

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thebigslim's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

#407679
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21759) - you deserved it (57942)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137733) - you deserved it (37004)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (188561) - you deserved it (29704)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (215279) - you deserved it (35299)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I heard back from my store management interview at Target. I was offered an overnight stock clerk position. When I called HR to find out if my application was in the wrong file I was told I lack the leadership qualities necessary for Target. I graduated with honors from a military school. FML

#357279
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77099) - you deserved it (5491)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by yanksbitethebig1 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
543 comments

I agree, your life sucks (516987) - you deserved it (35260)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

#320737
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69736) - you deserved it (16379)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

#316812
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80995) - you deserved it (5696)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54542) - you deserved it (316452)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

#267368
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24572) - you deserved it (76154)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by theassman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML

#261901
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70503) - you deserved it (21948)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

#260982
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (86975)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

#256127
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140608) - you deserved it (6393)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML

#254280
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35557) - you deserved it (77388)

On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

#239452
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8771) - you deserved it (80310)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Smash_Mouth - United States (Florida)



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