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thebigslim

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thebigslim

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 July 1979 (36 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 15470
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About thebigslim : Smartass by nature..... and is it just me, or is it next to impossible to get your own FML published on here?

thebigslim's page activity

Visits<b>celebi82</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:58pm<b>grunt2423</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:20pm<b>wobbly1</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:23pm<b>Winterborn253</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:16pm<b>maddod26</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 12:21pm<b>Justin1459</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:06am<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 4:12pm<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 12:05am<b>Laeffy</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 2:30pm<b>ben57rocks</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 8:20pm<b>glossykarma</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:00pm<b>nuka_cola</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:34pm<b>XxeftxX</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 5:01pm<b>skylercoombs</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 9:40pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:05pm<b>deathcreep25</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Airshock22</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:51am<b>nothemother</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:42am

Fucked!<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:12pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:05am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:54pm<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:10am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:43pm<b>Shrekie</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:50am<b>chefcow</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:31am

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Happy Ending

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thebigslim's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (38631)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49751) - you deserved it (5114)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

#20479641
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28826) - you deserved it (45876)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27951) - you deserved it (51623)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63681) - you deserved it (7330)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49591) - you deserved it (6482)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35038) - you deserved it (2939)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36615) - you deserved it (5074)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34141) - you deserved it (4688)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39439) - you deserved it (5541)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32981) - you deserved it (6471)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML

#20434482
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10600) - you deserved it (23701)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33776) - you deserved it (5448)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32549) - you deserved it (2783)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50055) - you deserved it (27228)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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