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thebigslim

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thebigslim

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 July 1979 (36 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 15466
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About thebigslim : Smartass by nature..... and is it just me, or is it next to impossible to get your own FML published on here?

thebigslim's page activity

Visits<b>celebi82</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:58pm<b>grunt2423</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:20pm<b>wobbly1</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:23pm<b>Winterborn253</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:16pm<b>maddod26</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 12:21pm<b>Justin1459</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:06am<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 4:12pm<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 12:05am<b>Laeffy</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 2:30pm<b>ben57rocks</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 8:20pm<b>glossykarma</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:00pm<b>nuka_cola</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:34pm<b>XxeftxX</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 5:01pm<b>skylercoombs</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 9:40pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:05pm<b>deathcreep25</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Airshock22</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:51am<b>nothemother</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:42am

Fucked!<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:12pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:05am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:54pm<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:10am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:43pm<b>Shrekie</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:50am<b>chefcow</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:31am

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thebigslim's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48877) - you deserved it (15851) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53987) - you deserved it (10696)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61672) - you deserved it (9787)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

#21019092
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46801) - you deserved it (4883)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53580) - you deserved it (7183)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59396) - you deserved it (68221)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54775) - you deserved it (5016)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32891) - you deserved it (69746)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71058) - you deserved it (20145)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47291) - you deserved it (8021)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (5640)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (64229)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59511) - you deserved it (15456)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

#20494355
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45598) - you deserved it (13404)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States



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