thebigslim

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Offline (the 04/09/2016 at 6:22am)

thebigslim

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 July 1979 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 16083
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About thebigslim : Smartass by nature..... and is it just me, or is it next to impossible to get your own FML published on here?

thebigslim's page activity

Visits<b>SpectreZ</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:11am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 8:03pm<b>wearablepear7</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 10:14am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 5:19am<b>celebi82</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:58pm<b>grunt2423</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:20pm<b>wobbly1</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:23pm<b>Winterborn253</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:16pm<b>maddod26</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 12:21pm<b>Justin1459</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:06am<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 4:12pm<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 12:05am<b>Laeffy</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 2:30pm<b>ben57rocks</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 8:20pm<b>glossykarma</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:00pm<b>nuka_cola</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:34pm<b>XxeftxX</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 5:01pm<b>skylercoombs</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 9:40pm

Fucked!<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:12pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:05am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:54pm<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:10am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:43pm<b>Shrekie</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:50am<b>chefcow</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:31am

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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thebigslim's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

by vegas-81 / 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

by Goodyear / 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

by Thanks Honey / 06/05/2013 at 11:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Work

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

by Cristoforo / 05/25/2013 at 4:19am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

by Lockedinroom / 02/05/2013 at 11:18am / United States / Intimacy