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theawkwardlife

Offline (the 03/18/2015 at 7:10am) | Search for a member

theawkwardlife

24Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 November 1948 (66 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2830
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About theawkwardlife : You though it was sarcasm didn't you. ;)


Msg me and I'll respond to your lovely comments when I'm not busy performing satanic rituals

theawkwardlife's page activity

Visits<b>LilyLi</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 8:39pm<b>briang959</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 10:21pm<b>thesmeagol</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 8:31pm<b>First_JOman</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 1:20am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:47pm<b>Shyboy333</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 8:19pm<b>Saxicolous</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 7:28pm<b>dextrementor</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:30pm<b>Mons</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:54am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:14pm<b>LazyBastardGuy</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 8:32pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 5:17pm<b>RMLrapemylife</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 8:41pm<b>CJB3228</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:23pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:21am<b>Crenny</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:21pm<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 7:08am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 2:19am

Fucked!<b>Pluiscyam</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 12:27pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 3:11pm<b>IspSG</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:50am<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:39am<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 5:38am<b>llamarrama01</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:27pm<b>Stazza11</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 11:18am<b>touch_the_sky_77</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:50am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:47am<b>WillyWonkaaaa</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 2:52am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 12:51am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:22pm<b>MisterEx</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:35am<b>chancjd</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:31am<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:09am<b>whiteangel361</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:22am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 4:18pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 3:41pm

theawkwardlife's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of theawkwardlife's badges

theawkwardlife's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat tunneled her way under the covers to sleep beside me. It was really cute until she panicked in the middle of the night and practically skinned me alive trying to find her way out. FML

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

#21163432
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36251) - you deserved it (16855)

On 06/05/2014 at 12:11am - health - by fat and alone - United States (Alabama)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47659) - you deserved it (7238)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

#21149895
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42019) - you deserved it (5007)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:23am - misc - by lifesabitch2016 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49299) - you deserved it (6078)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

#21143150
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45888) - you deserved it (3771)

On 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by 2ndgenoration (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

#21032373
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43892) - you deserved it (6370)

On 01/19/2014 at 12:17am - kids - by MommyProblems (woman) - United States

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56317) - you deserved it (7369)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

#20790299
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45891) - you deserved it (2819)

On 07/18/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by dirtythief (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47859) - you deserved it (4310)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML

#20647729
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49938) - you deserved it (5610)

On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42339) - you deserved it (7001)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

#20634792
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60995) - you deserved it (4436)

On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (69410)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)



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