the_untouchables

Search for a member

the_untouchables

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1543
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About the_untouchables : "In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act". -George Orwell

the_untouchables's page activity

Visits<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 8:40am<b>patwo8</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 11:25am<b>Candygrl987</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 7:22pm<b>Teyros</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 7:09pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 7:01pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 4:58am<b>thejokingguy13</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 7:55pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:13am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:22pm<b>ceelos97</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 5:51am<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:59am<b>SandyBella</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:12pm<b>VMG</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:40pm<b>GetIt23</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:48am<b>darwinism</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 4:10am<b>Jaybob98</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Crimsonsmite</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:47am<b>Jar_Jar_Bonks</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:05pm

Fucked!<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:10am

the_untouchables's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of the_untouchables's badges

the_untouchables's favorite FMLs

Today, I've been awake for 4 days. My doctor recently put me on enough sleeping pills to kill a small country, but when I take them it's like a shot of adrenaline. I'm wide awake and tired as all hell at the same time. FML

by dead / 03/18/2016 at 3:40pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I'm recovering from surgery. Every time I laugh, it hurts so badly I start to cry, which hurts even worse and makes it difficult to breathe. The painkillers I'm on make everything seem funny. I laughed so hard at a dumb pun that I nearly passed out. FML

by Anonameow / 02/25/2016 at 7:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

by Crap / 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

by Anon / 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate and I are so broke, we resorted to going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting just for the refreshments. FML

by jamongrande / 04/17/2015 at 11:50am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

by thechaos / 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

by terdberglerforlyfe / 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Kids

Today, I still didn't feel quite awake after the first lesson at school, so I went to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I had just enough money for it. No cup dropped into the holder, and the whole thing poured straight into the drip tray while I watched. FML

by walktowardslight / 12/03/2014 at 5:35am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

by SeriousJoker72 / 10/10/2014 at 9:17pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals