the_shift

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the_shift

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1992
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About the_shift : I have nothing to say here but write me.

the_shift's page activity

Visits<b>LaurenA_Hendrix</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 1:19pm<b>hayleyannealli</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:28am<b>Skyy_Girl</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 11:02pm<b>johnduke456</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:30am<b>Peck_Kcep</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 12:12pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:52am<b>threer</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 7:11pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 10:30pm<b>miiapaige</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 1:57am<b>dekat100</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:11am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 12:54pm<b>slimilicious</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:49am<b>Reaaal04</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:43pm<b>lb562</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:36pm<b>ball_so_hard</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 8:20pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 3:59am<b>RicanDucky</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 10:36pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:54pm

the_shift's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of the_shift's badges

the_shift's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

by campus pussy / 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my daughter squealing with delight in front of a video game. Beating a boss? Slaying an adversary? Completing a quest? Not at all. She was chasing birds, making them fly away, then starting all over again as soon as they landed. She's 19. FML

by melimelo24 / 03/13/2014 at 5:33am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

by Crashed / 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

by erjazo / 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

by awkword / 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

by wth? / 12/13/2013 at 10:10am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Love

Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

by Rumors / 12/12/2013 at 6:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

by knee pain / 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

by happy birthday to me / 12/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

by KarateKid76 / 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML

by Broke / 12/04/2013 at 3:27am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML

by reallyhighschool / 12/03/2013 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if you accidentally step on your boss's dog's tail, yes, you can get fired. But not because you stepped on the dog's tail. You didn't say sorry. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2013 at 9:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

by Kyle / 12/03/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my bandmate and I decided to propose to our girlfriends, who are also in the band, at the same time in the middle of a concert. His girlfriend said yes. Mine ran off the stage crying. FML

by rock'n roller / 12/02/2013 at 10:42pm / Love