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thatsprovocative

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thatsprovocative

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thatsprovocative's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68355) - you deserved it (19349)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

#20642331
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42282) - you deserved it (73491)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50802) - you deserved it (10892)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67862) - you deserved it (17189)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84308) - you deserved it (8723)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37461) - you deserved it (2877)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30041) - you deserved it (3263)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

#20427068
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38033) - you deserved it (3801)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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