thatpeachyperson

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thatpeachyperson

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5312
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About thatpeachyperson : Call me bitchtits. Everybody does.

Things I like:
Bacon
League of Gentlemen (obviously)
Sherlock (BBC of course)
Sleep
Singing
Playing guitar
Pokémon
Dancing to late 70's music
Ashens
Piercings

Things I don't like:
The X Factor (or anything that has ever walked out of it alive)
Typing on my iPhone
Exercise
People (especially small children and babies)
Poundland
The fact that society has my life vaguely planned out
Sparkly vampires
Chavs

You may not like me. Fine.
You may like me. That is also fine.
Just don't try and rape me. Not cool.

If you can't spell or have shitty grammar, don't talk to me.

If you happen to be a theist and I've offended you, great. Call the Internet Police and let them deal with it.

You are a cool person for reading to the end. Bye now!

thatpeachyperson's page activity

Visits<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 2:21am<b>Leo619</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 1:47am<b>youdontsay123456</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 6:18pm<b>sarika</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:54pm<b>molloy2</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 9:58pm<b>Rainbowkupkake</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 11:24pm<b>Bulbadragon</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Tractor_Bait</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 12:04pm<b>uglygymrat</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 8:21pm<b>iituwtmiwhtku</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 6:06am<b>rcarn</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 5:47pm<b>cmat84</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 9:34am<b>MurderMelons</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 1:44am<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 10:16am<b>Ladiesman679</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 12:30am<b>TheVengefulGeek</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 5:41pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 7:32pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 11:32am

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thatpeachyperson's favorite FMLs

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

by whipplewhip / 06/30/2013 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 5:50am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

by shiney100893 / 01/14/2013 at 7:56am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

by wetsheets / 01/07/2013 at 8:01am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

by melas303 / 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

by awkward. / 12/29/2012 at 10:50am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

by Iknoweverything / 12/22/2012 at 3:06am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

by kidyounot / 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love