About thatotk : You better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout, I'm telling you why. If you make a sound, you.. will die.
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thatotk's favorite FMLs
by leena / 02/22/2016 at 7:55pm / United States (California) / Health
by Sarah / 02/20/2016 at 7:13pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, there's a new freshman at my school that looks exactly like me. Whenever we see her, my friends shout "Twinzies!" I don't have anything against her, but I'm bummed because I'm a male senior. FML
by twinzies / 02/19/2016 at 9:46pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my boss told me to resign within the month, or he'll fire me and give me a bad reference. I talked to him about it again later on, this time with my phone recording everything, so I could take the proof to HR. I guess he knew, because he acted like he had no idea what I was talking about. FML
by fucked5waystofriday / 02/19/2016 at 2:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Work
Today, despite hints, suggestions, and even blatant criticism, my coworker refuses to believe he smells like rotten donkey nuts. He says he only needs to shower once a week, and that he doesn't believe in deodorant. I volunteered to do an extra autopsy today because the morgue smells better. FML
by ragnarok1540 / 02/17/2016 at 11:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by thatcreepyteacher / 02/16/2016 at 11:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a short guy asked me how the world looked "up there", as I'm really tall. I decided to lift him up so he could see for himself. I failed both times I tried, to the great amusement of everyone watching. FML
by SK8WITME / 02/12/2016 at 1:22pm / India / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing Badminton in P.E, and I was paired with a particularly pretty girl, who for some reason kept asking stupid questions that we both knew the answers to. I've only now just realized that she was trying to initiate conversation with me. This is why I have no friends. FML
Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML
by CmS_1733 / 02/11/2016 at 1:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I sat in my hotel room bathroom in dead silence for 30 minutes while I waited for the cleaning staff to stop watching TV and drinking beer from the minibar, so that I could finish using the toilet. FML
by mn051299 / 02/10/2016 at 4:09am / Switzerland (Schwyz) / Miscellaneous
by hannieannie / 02/09/2016 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
by abnormallyadam / 02/09/2016 at 8:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by nofriends / 02/09/2016 at 12:17am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
by weirdoe / 02/07/2016 at 4:17am / Italy (Sicilia) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…