About thatotk : You better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout, I'm telling you why. If you make a sound, you.. will die.
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thatotk's favorite FMLs
by yblamemebiatch / 03/16/2016 at 6:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, my girlfriend of 5 years gave me the "I'm not in love with you anymore" speech. I saw it coming, so I'd planned to play it cool by saying, "If you're sure it's something we can't fix, I'd rather not talk about it". After a while, I realised I was just sitting there like a child, fidgeting and shaking. FML
by Satch / 03/16/2016 at 5:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by again? / 03/15/2016 at 6:03am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, while out for a jog, I noticed that you never know how fast you run until you're being followed by someone in a car you don't know, and they're continuously honking at you. I later found out it my dad in his new car. FML
by CROCKIN5150 / 03/14/2016 at 12:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went back to my high school for an event with some of my friends, both of which are in relationships. Whilst there we saw our favorite teacher, who hugged us and said, "I heard you have a boyfriend! And so do you!" And then she turned to me and said, "And... And you're doing great things!" FML
by singleasapringle / 03/13/2016 at 1:41am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, an attention seeking weirdo who thinks she's my friend asked me who was going to be the maid of honour at my wedding. Knowing what she was really asking, I said I just want a small, non-fancy wedding with no bridesmaids. She broke down into a sobbing mess in front of me. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2016 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
Today, a student came out to me, saying that she thinks she's gay. This has happened several times since I have taught here, which made me wonder why they were comfortable telling me. Turns out being a single, childless woman of my age screams "lesbian" to this particular community. I'm not. FML
by phalangesenfuego / 03/10/2016 at 9:07am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, at a family dinner, I found the courage to tell my husband's parents about my schizophrenia. They exchanged weird looks and then there was an uncomfortable silence. Then my father-in-law finally says, "Christ. The grandkids won't come out all nutty, right?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2016 at 1:54pm / United Kingdom (Cumbria) / Health
Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2016 at 1:58am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
by Racked / 03/01/2016 at 1:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Jif_Creamy / 02/28/2016 at 12:00am / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by blaaargh / 02/27/2016 at 3:54am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by stillloveherthough / 02/26/2016 at 12:54pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love
by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
- Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me… Today, while walking down the street, I saw a man attacking a woman in an alley. I ran to help, and… Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I…