About thatotk : You better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout, I'm telling you why. If you make a sound, you.. will die.
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thatotk's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML
by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by Upfront / 04/06/2016 at 1:19am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend decided it was logical to accuse me of cheating because of the hundreds of emails I had from women wanting to meet up with me for sex. She had been looking in the "Spam" folder. FML
by fresh single / 04/03/2016 at 3:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 11:48am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I was chatting with a new guy at work. He cracked a joke about me and I jokingly gave him a light push on the shoulder. Half a second after I touched him, he threw himself back and hit the floor yelling in "pain". Now I'm suspended because of this psycho. FML
by framed / 04/02/2016 at 8:30am / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
Today, my best friend finally broke up with her knob of a boyfriend. This would be great except now my boyfriend of two years has broken up with me because she's finally single. She introduced us. FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 9:54pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by WHY / 03/31/2016 at 8:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend's parents decided that I was untrustworthy and that if they ever saw him with me he'd be heavily punished. They're travelling hundreds of miles just to make sure he stays in the house and doesn't talk to me. FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 7:43pm / United Kingdom (Shropshire) / Love
by Littlethings1 / 03/31/2016 at 1:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my boyfriend's advice and finally stood up to my very passive-agressive, rude mother. What started in a conversation about her snide comment about my outfit ended in me needing to find somewhere else to live. FML
by jessroses / 03/31/2016 at 9:36am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML
by Anonymous / 03/30/2016 at 2:53am / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, the drummer from my band stole the $200 deposit for our rental practice space and used it for a trip down to Maryland with his girlfriend. A few hours ago, my brother and I found him passed out in his cousin's house, very hungover. His first words to us were, "Can I borrow 20 bucks?" FML
by Zero_TAlent_ / 03/29/2016 at 4:27pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, I was on my run, running past the home of the very attractive guy in my English class. This time he was outside. As I was running I casually waved, he waved back, but because I was distracted, I didn't notice a rock on the sidewalk and ended up tripping and pantsing myself. FML
by TipsyTj / 03/29/2016 at 9:05am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
Today, I gave the guy I've been seeing a copy of my newly published book, because I know he loves writing. He started reading and commented on how amazing it was. Then he gave it back. He didn't realize it was a gift. My awkward self didn't correct him. I'd written him a sweet letter inside. FML
by sigh / 03/29/2016 at 12:57am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/28/2016 at 4:23pm / United States / Love