About thatotk : You better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout, I'm telling you why. If you make a sound, you.. will die.
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thatotk's favorite FMLs
Today, I took my boyfriend's advice and finally stood up to my very passive-agressive, rude mother. What started in a conversation about her snide comment about my outfit ended in me needing to find somewhere else to live. FML
by jessroses / 03/31/2016 at 9:36am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML
by Anonymous / 03/30/2016 at 2:53am / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, the drummer from my band stole the $200 deposit for our rental practice space and used it for a trip down to Maryland with his girlfriend. A few hours ago, my brother and I found him passed out in his cousin's house, very hungover. His first words to us were, "Can I borrow 20 bucks?" FML
by Zero_TAlent_ / 03/29/2016 at 4:27pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, I was on my run, running past the home of the very attractive guy in my English class. This time he was outside. As I was running I casually waved, he waved back, but because I was distracted, I didn't notice a rock on the sidewalk and ended up tripping and pantsing myself. FML
by TipsyTj / 03/29/2016 at 9:05am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
Today, I gave the guy I've been seeing a copy of my newly published book, because I know he loves writing. He started reading and commented on how amazing it was. Then he gave it back. He didn't realize it was a gift. My awkward self didn't correct him. I'd written him a sweet letter inside. FML
by sigh / 03/29/2016 at 12:57am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/28/2016 at 4:23pm / United States / Love
by Liz / 03/26/2016 at 3:26pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I brought my best painting yet to college. I showed it off and everyone loved it. Or almost everyone. When we came back from lunch break, we found someone had sharpied the words "JIZZ BUTT" all over it. That painting took two weeks to finish. FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 1:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally put the finishing touches on a huge project after 8 months of gruelling work. My boss had used the promise of a 5-figure bonus to motivate me. When I casually brought the bonus up later in the day, my boss just said "Gratitude's its own reward, Mike." FML
by considering murder / 03/25/2016 at 1:19pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, I, a vampire-pale girl, went on a blind date with a very dark-skinned young man. We got on like a house on fire, and everything was going smoothly until we leant in for the kiss. I was wearing makeup and no setting spray. He came away with half his face smudged snow white. FML
by JJ / 03/21/2016 at 3:06pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Intimacy
by RandomTurtle109 / 03/19/2016 at 8:40am / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by ANON / 03/18/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, my mom yelled at me for going through her closet for some warmer clothes. She had a rant about taking her clothes without her permission, all while wearing a pair of my boots and one of my sweaters. FML
by Thanksmom / 03/18/2016 at 2:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had sex with a guy I really had a connection with. It went perfect until I complimented how his moans during sex turn me on a lot, and he responded with, "That's what my mom told me." I laughed so hard we couldn't go on. FML
by UnicornWaffles / 03/16/2016 at 1:23pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Intimacy
by yblamemebiatch / 03/16/2016 at 6:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work