About thatotk : You better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout, I'm telling you why. If you make a sound, you.. will die.
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thatotk's favorite FMLs
Today, after moving house, changing my number, my email, and beginning legal action to get away from a girl who was stalking me, I decided to go to the movies to relax. As soon as I got in my seat, that same girl walked into the nearly empty theatre. She sat next to me. FML
by Anonymous / 11/05/2010 at 5:19am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by shotdown / 11/04/2010 at 12:18am / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML
by grimatwork / 11/01/2010 at 1:24pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Intimacy
by Stephie2009 / 10/30/2010 at 2:33am / United States / Love
Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML
by stickyface / 10/24/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 4:21am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by Lauren Smith / 10/17/2010 at 12:52pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 2:28am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML
by deadinavan / 10/13/2010 at 8:57am / Germany (Bayern) / Transportation
by mster233 / 10/08/2010 at 11:29pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML
by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 8:01am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML
by crucets / 10/06/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Love
by cantstoplaughing / 10/06/2010 at 12:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, while taking a shower, I thought that the bathroom was extra steamy because of all the hot water. It wasn't until two-three minutes later when I put some shampoo in my hair that I realized I had forgotten to take my glasses off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2010 at 6:46am / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…