About thatotk : You better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout, I'm telling you why. If you make a sound, you.. will die.
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thatotk's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML
by Winchesterlover / 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm / United States (California) / Geek
Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML
by smbcolorado / 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
by Stormbringer / 02/01/2011 at 1:37am / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
by anon / 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/30/2011 at 12:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
by Scaredwitless / 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by WronglySad619 / 01/26/2011 at 5:31am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I got turned down from a job I really wanted. Six hours later, the guy called me again and delivered the same news, not realizing he had already called this morning. Thanks for rubbing it in. FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 11:24pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
by jester777 / 01/22/2011 at 12:39pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML
by ash / 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 12:26am / United States / Health
Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML
- Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was… Today, my girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've… Today, I overheard my parents having sex. Trying to be the reasonable person I was, I dismissed it,…