About thatotk : You better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout, I'm telling you why. If you make a sound, you.. will die.
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thatotk's favorite FMLs
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML
by BadgerSpirit / 04/27/2011 at 9:35am / United States (Washington) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 4:19am / United States (California) / Love
by Scarlett / 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
by Ouch / 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by purrykitty / 04/23/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Grrrr! / 04/23/2011 at 10:19am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
by kindgartin / 04/23/2011 at 5:26am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids
Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthly conversation, my girlfriend mentions "And he always farts during sex." FML
by Sadman / 04/23/2011 at 4:37am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/21/2011 at 9:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML
by alopez1994 / 04/21/2011 at 1:28am / Miscellaneous
Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Andrew / 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…