About thatotk : You better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout, I'm telling you why. If you make a sound, you.. will die.
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thatotk's favorite FMLs
by nothingisreal69 / 03/01/2011 at 5:21pm / Reserved / Animals
Today, during a class, I noticed some racist statements and symbols on a table. While erasing them, I bent down to pick up my dropped pencil. I look back up to see a teacher, and got a suspension. FML
by assumed / 03/01/2011 at 11:47am / Miscellaneous
Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2011 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Work
by newlywed / 02/27/2011 at 12:18am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by verasam01 / 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I asked my dad what his plans for Friday were. Apparently, he's going to a concert with my step-mom all evening. It's been their plan for months. Friday is my birthday. That's been set since the day I was born. FML
by Anonymous / 02/24/2011 at 5:34am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML
by Annie / 02/24/2011 at 1:39am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
by :/ / 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML
by Username / 02/18/2011 at 4:33am / Work
by fmylife117 / 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm / United States / Intimacy
by clashgurl8449 / 02/17/2011 at 3:08am / Health
by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 12:14am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night... It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML
by Emily / 02/14/2011 at 3:25pm / France (Auvergne) / Love
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
by anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 12:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous