About thatotk : You better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout, I'm telling you why. If you make a sound, you.. will die.
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thatotk's favorite FMLs
Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2016 at 9:12am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, my 12 and 14 year olds told me they'll be doing whatever they like from now on and there will be no rules or bedtime, otherwise they'll tell their teachers that my husband and I abuse them. Where did I go wrong? FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2016 at 5:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, like everyday, I got on the train heading back from my university campus in Preston. Usually, it takes 20 minutes. When I sat down, I realised it was a non-stop service to Glasgow and the doors had closed. It took me 7 hours by train and a lift from my best friend at 2 a.m. to get home. FML
by Mintilou / 04/07/2016 at 11:17pm / United Kingdom (Sandwell) / Transportation
Today, nearing the end of my pregnancy, I went to a local pool. While attempting to swim on my stomach, I turned a little to the left, and buoyancy took over and I ended up belly-up and flailing, causing a very large man to then laugh so hard, he choked. FML
by ciammmm / 04/07/2016 at 8:23pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, my family is flying to Hawaii for a longed-for holiday. Well, my husband and children are; I'm in a hospital bed awaiting surgery on kidney stones that I never knew I had. Hopefully they'll send me a postcard. FML
by Drover7 / 04/07/2016 at 7:26pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Holidays
by Shotacon / 04/06/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML
by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by Upfront / 04/06/2016 at 1:19am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend decided it was logical to accuse me of cheating because of the hundreds of emails I had from women wanting to meet up with me for sex. She had been looking in the "Spam" folder. FML
by fresh single / 04/03/2016 at 3:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 11:48am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I was chatting with a new guy at work. He cracked a joke about me and I jokingly gave him a light push on the shoulder. Half a second after I touched him, he threw himself back and hit the floor yelling in "pain". Now I'm suspended because of this psycho. FML
by framed / 04/02/2016 at 8:30am / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
Today, my best friend finally broke up with her knob of a boyfriend. This would be great except now my boyfriend of two years has broken up with me because she's finally single. She introduced us. FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 9:54pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by WHY / 03/31/2016 at 8:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend's parents decided that I was untrustworthy and that if they ever saw him with me he'd be heavily punished. They're travelling hundreds of miles just to make sure he stays in the house and doesn't talk to me. FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 7:43pm / United Kingdom (Shropshire) / Love
by Littlethings / 03/31/2016 at 1:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous