About thatotk : You better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout, I'm telling you why. If you make a sound, you.. will die.
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thatotk's favorite FMLs
by bruh_im18 / 09/17/2016 at 12:18pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, I took my wife to a country concert for her birthday, even though I can't stand country. While she had the time of her life, I was punched twice, had a beer dropped on me, and had a rather large, drunk woman fall on me. Happy birthday, baby. FML
by Senseless_487 / 09/16/2016 at 2:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Randomspaghetti / 09/15/2016 at 5:11pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by kmyltd / 09/14/2016 at 2:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, following a 6-hour roundtrip after having lost both games from a baseball doubleheader, I was pleasantly surprised to see that my 4-year-old son was still up. After updating him on the day's results, he went off to bed with the words, "Good night, loser." FML
by Loser / 09/13/2016 at 8:10am / Germany (Bayern) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/12/2016 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Clumsy / 09/08/2016 at 8:06am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, my housemate and I had rough passionate sex in every room of the house. Being that I'm 18 and he's 32, it was a new thing for me. I just received a call from my mother stating that they would not be paying for the baby they watched us make through their wireless cams in our house. FML
by BabsZilla / 09/04/2016 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, at the doctor's, I dropped my pants and the attractive nurse assured me it was the biggest one she had ever seen. Unfortunately, she wasn't referring to my penis, she was, in fact referring to the huge haemorrhoid hanging out of my asshole. FML
by mind your own business / 06/13/2016 at 6:31pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Health
by snazz23 / 06/13/2016 at 10:24am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, while vacationing with my boyfriend of 9 years, he started writing "Wi" in the sand. I instantly hoped he was going to propose by writing, "Will you marry me" on the beach. He spelled out "wiener" instead. FML
by ForeverAGirlfriend / 06/13/2016 at 12:40am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Toloveornottolove / 06/12/2016 at 12:08pm / Canada / Love
Today, I was grabbed and romantically kissed at the crowded carnival. Unfortunately, it was not by my husband but instead it was a complete stranger, in front of my husband and children. Now, my husband will not talk or believe that I didn't know the man, and my children think I'm a cheater. FML
by babyscarface / 06/12/2016 at 11:48am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I told my dad about my new diet. He somehow figured I was only doing it to look more attractive to guys, because he told me my weight is fine and that it's just my personality that needs work. Thanks a lot, Dad. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 8:39am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by gross / 06/11/2016 at 3:56am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…