About thatonechick4 : I like food. I love my animals. Food is great. Hunting and fishing all the way. Countryyyyyy girl. Any day where I don't have release my flying monkeys is a good day.
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thatonechick4's favorite FMLs
by qourt / 10/29/2015 at 11:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad's order of hair clippers arrived. I've been putting off getting a haircut for a while now, and he offered to give me one for free. Long story short, he managed to ruin the hair clippers, and I now look like a diseased palm tree. FML
by paaaallllmmmssss / 09/25/2015 at 11:40pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML
by earlytermination / 09/05/2015 at 11:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML
by pansypup / 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm / United States (New Mexico) / Animals
Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML
by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML
by wantmeasandwich / 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous
Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML
by coolcat10156 / 07/08/2015 at 3:04am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
by afather / 06/14/2015 at 9:41am / United States (South Dakota) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/02/2015 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML
by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML
by sistertaxi / 05/14/2015 at 10:23am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML
by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work
Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML
by alekoi / 05/13/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…