About thatonechick227 : every day is a challenge.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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thatonechick227's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
by Shelly P. / 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML
by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by secretpornstar / 06/13/2011 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Intimacy
by ohdear / 01/27/2011 at 8:07am / United Kingdom (Bury) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 11:05pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by metalmusic / 07/05/2010 at 1:37am / United States / Love
Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML
by gotitEVERYWHERE / 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2010 at 7:10pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML
by grounded / 01/03/2010 at 11:40am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Intimacy
by nycplywood / 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
by R / 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Work
by sore / 10/21/2009 at 4:27am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
by grossgross / 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She… Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said… Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me.…