About thatguy240 : What do I type here?
thatguy240's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
thatguy240's favorite FMLs
Today, I was so tired, I passed out at work in the middle of a call. All because my neighbor's car alarm kept going off every 3 minutes all through the morning. It was still going when I left for work. If you see a news story in a few days about a whole neighborhood beating a guy to death, that's probably us. FML
by Anonymous / 05/28/2016 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Rescheduled / 05/28/2016 at 4:44am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML
by scarred for life / 05/28/2016 at 1:23am / United States (Indiana) / Health
Today, my brother came out on Facebook, with a message including the words "I got nothing against gays. Except my dick!" I replied "Eww!" My second comment, "Eww because of the analogy, lol." disappeared among a load of replies tearing me apart for being a homophobe. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 11:47pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Lexyy17 / 05/27/2016 at 10:43pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, my bank refused to replace the debit card that I lost because, to prove I was the owner, I had to tell them about my last purchase and I couldn't remember it. I showed them my ID, and that could have worked, had they not misspelt my name on the account. FML
by no card / 05/27/2016 at 10:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
by rykelmb / 05/27/2016 at 7:40pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
by Mercy / 05/27/2016 at 3:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was okay, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 3:09pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend added me to his friends' private Whatsapp group, after weeks of asking him to include me in more of his life. It turns out almost all they do is post pictures of their shits and rate them. There is nearly a year's worth of pictures. FML
by ~~~~ / 05/27/2016 at 2:45pm / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard my ex bragging to his buddies about how freaky his new girlfriend is, what with her animal tail butt plugs and such. Towards the end of our relationship, he called me disgusting for suggesting we spice things up with handcuffs. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 1:15pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my dad mentioned how quickly I go through batteries. I've been single and celibate since I moved back home 11 months ago. He doesn't realize this and keeps asking about "missing" batteries. FML
by thundermoo / 05/27/2016 at 12:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, due to a new tattoo, I can't wear a bra for the next few days. My coworker knows about it and thought it would be funny to blast the air-con all day. I swear I could have used my nipples to type this, instead of my fingers. FML
by chazzywazzy654 / 05/27/2016 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Health
Today, I was mowing my lawn and it had a dry looking dog turd. I figured I'd be able to mow it easily into the grass bag as dust. Instead, it still had enough moisture to splatter into clumps. Including a couple that went up my left nostril. FML
by Furzball / 05/27/2016 at 2:19am / United States (California) / Animals