thabeast

Search for a member

thabeast

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22217
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

thabeast's page activity

Visits<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 2:42am<b>saxaddict122</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 12:58pm<b>fainpie</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 7:42pm<b>aaaaaah</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 5:31am<b>melons</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 3:43am<b>yackieegx</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 3:27am<b>nina_link1130</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:24pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:58am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 9:20pm<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:34am<b>Periwinkle623</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 6:09am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 11:43am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:01pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 12:39am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/29/2009 at 11:14pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 07/19/2009 at 11:31pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 9:24am<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 1:14pm

thabeast's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

thabeast's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

by poormom / 06/27/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

by dumbo / 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

by Jerrrr / 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids