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teresa96706

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teresa96706

4Fucked!

teresa96706teresa96706
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9245
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About teresa96706 : |Friendly|
|Hawaii Girl|
|University life|
|in a relationship|
|loves the aina (land)|
|open minded, generous|
|Only seen snow twice in my life|
|small town girl living in a lonely world|

teresa96706's page activity

Visits<b>z3r0d4z3</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:10am<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:11pm<b>captainmarrr</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:31am<b>ocapi</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:56pm<b>torn616</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 3:11pm<b>Deluxe_1</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:12pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:40pm<b>MELKOZAR</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:00am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:54am<b>Scryll</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 1:03am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 12:49am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:36pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:04am<b>rebelsrock</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:48pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:09am<b>Thoms34</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:35pm<b>Jellysweetheart</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 4:28am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 3:29am

Fucked!<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:35am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:17am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:05am

teresa96706's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of teresa96706's badges

teresa96706's favorite FMLs

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

#21417382
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15421) - you deserved it (1587)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24425) - you deserved it (9707)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

Today, I woke up to the sound of my little sister knocking on my door. Today's my birthday, so I thought she'd surprise me with something. Instead, she just asked me, "How's it feel to be a year older and still alone?" I just turned 20. The truth hurts. FML

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32349) - you deserved it (7061)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

#21402047
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31291) - you deserved it (9735)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm - intimacy - by MiniJeans - United States (Florida)

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33814) - you deserved it (4523)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

#21400396
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33859) - you deserved it (3643)

On 04/27/2015 at 12:58am - work - by advanced history teacher (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32407) - you deserved it (4735)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24976) - you deserved it (75)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML

#21372790
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (2144)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:50pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

#21362620
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (2707)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:32pm - misc - by toastynippies - United States

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27859) - you deserved it (2271)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32727) - you deserved it (5252)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39091) - you deserved it (4000)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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