tencalories

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tencalories

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1045
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tencalories's page activity

Visits<b>Westifer</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 3:56am<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:48pm<b>cats54321</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 4:35pm<b>beefsupreme78</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 10:47pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:48pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:46pm<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:34am<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:38pm<b>Fidge</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 5:29pm<b>DuncanHills</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 2:04am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:43pm<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:18am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:14am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 9:13am<b>curticus</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 1:49pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:34pm<b>CrikOgresmasher</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:06pm<b>rimosah</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 10:46pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:46pm

tencalories's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

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It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

tencalories's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

by butimarealbear / 07/13/2011 at 9:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

by jreed509 / 07/03/2011 at 1:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

by Sam / 06/24/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2011 at 1:35am / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

by mike oxsmall / 06/16/2011 at 1:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

by missy / 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm / United States (Alaska) / Transportation

Today, I went to a concert with my boyfriend. I was repeatedly ass-grabbed, grinded on and hit on by guys. My boyfriend's response was, "As long as they continue to bring you free beer, let them get a little feel of what they are paying for." FML

by unknown / 06/15/2011 at 6:20am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

by Alec / 06/15/2011 at 5:02am / United States / Health

Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML

by gerligrl97 / 06/12/2011 at 2:50pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

by El Stupido / 06/12/2011 at 9:51am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation

Today, while at work, I suddenly went into diabetic shock. As I was nearly passed out on the floor, a customer yelled at me for not getting his coffee in time. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 10:25am / United States / Health

Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML

by anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

by kimboslice106 / 06/08/2011 at 1:21am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

by Mik / 06/07/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

by Username / 06/07/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy