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tencalories

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tencalories
  • Town/Country : grosse pointe, US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 November 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 627
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tencalories's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

#17092208
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (2021)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33030) - you deserved it (3442)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34062) - you deserved it (4374)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

#16793164
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46191) - you deserved it (3247)

On 06/22/2011 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

#16689352
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42910) - you deserved it (5851)

On 06/16/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by mike oxsmall - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

#16685518
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33756) - you deserved it (8661)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went to a concert with my boyfriend. I was repeatedly ass-grabbed, grinded on and hit on by guys. My boyfriend's response was, "As long as they continue to bring you free beer, let them get a little feel of what they are paying for." FML

#16674026
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37242) - you deserved it (7940)

On 06/15/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

#16673731
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14141) - you deserved it (31552)

On 06/15/2011 at 5:02am - health - by Alec - United States

Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML

#16628583
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46856) - you deserved it (10771)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by gerligrl97 - United States

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10869) - you deserved it (51125)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while at work, I suddenly went into diabetic shock. As I was nearly passed out on the floor, a customer yelled at me for not getting his coffee in time. FML

#16576364
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36001) - you deserved it (2971)

On 06/09/2011 at 10:25am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML

#16558190
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30893) - you deserved it (7797)

On 06/08/2011 at 2:55am - love - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

#16556995
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40869) - you deserved it (11958)

On 06/08/2011 at 1:21am - intimacy - by kimboslice106 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

#16554560
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13440) - you deserved it (26470)

On 06/07/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Mik (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42969) - you deserved it (11016)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)



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