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tehman117's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
tehman117's favorite FMLs
Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2016 at 9:12am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, $1,000 were stolen from a deposit box to which only I and a coworker have access. I was so nervous during my interrogation that the cop said he had no doubt I was the one who stole the money. I had nothing to do with it. FML
by cats1234 / 04/07/2016 at 3:19pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
Today, I asked a girl to prom by having 5 friends hold up signs saying "P-R-O-M-?" while I snuck up behind her. She said yes... to my friend holding the "?", who she thought was the one asking her. FML
by promposer / 04/04/2016 at 2:55pm / United States (New York) / Love
by cactusfears / 04/02/2016 at 3:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, the head chef at work yelled at me for not knowing the difference between two sauces. I couldn't win the argument, even after a coworker admitted to filling both bottles with the same sauce. FML
by notabadserver / 03/31/2016 at 1:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I was at the mall with my mom, when I saw a little pamphlet about a charity for abused children. I showed her and said I was going to donate a few dollars. She quickly said no, calling it a waste of money and muttering that the kids probably deserved it anyway. FML
by Anonymous / 03/30/2016 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Money
by MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain / 03/30/2016 at 1:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I put up a sign asking motorcyclists to slow down near horses, as the noise can spook them. While I was riding near the sign, a biker slowed to read it, looked at me, then revved his engine loudly and raced off. My horse bucked me off into some brambles and bolted. FML
by BriarFace / 03/28/2016 at 9:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, someone told my girlfriend that I cheated on her. I've never cheated in my life. Instead of talking to me about it, she made a big post on Facebook about what a dick I am. Pretty much all the comments went along the lines of "What a bastard." and "Ugh, men are pigs." FML
by ameremanapparently / 03/26/2016 at 8:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by mel / 03/25/2016 at 9:20am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, some of my coworkers have complained that I don't do my share of the work, though they can't specify exactly what I'm not getting done. Apparently, being too efficient and finishing first means I mustn't have done anything at all. The supervisor sided with them. FML
by 2fast4U / 03/21/2016 at 6:00am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, after a lot of complaints from other members, I told an old lady at the gym I work at that she couldn't sit in the sauna naked. She responded by grabbing her boobs and shaking them in my face. I don't get paid enough for this. FML
by rapunzel3416 / 03/14/2016 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my girlfriend of two months and I are in completely different points in our lives. She ambushed me with ideas of having kids, getting married and being together forever. Currently, my biggest concern is passing the tenth grade. FML
by NordicNathan / 03/14/2016 at 12:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, while trying to sleep, my roommates were shouting in the next room. When I poked my head out to tell them to shut up, I was greeted to the sight of one of them with his knob duct-taped inside a gun holster, and the other one trying to rip it off. And they wonder why I'm not more social. FML
by NotEnoughBleach / 03/13/2016 at 11:58pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called to see if my bridesmaid's dress was ready. They told me it had already been picked up, the bride's mom picked up the dress and got rid of it because she doesn't want me in the wedding. FML
by buttercup92 / 03/13/2016 at 9:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…