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  • Number of visits : 1246
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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tehman117's page activity

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tehman117's favorite FMLs

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8512) - you deserved it (657)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19535) - you deserved it (1297)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I attended a new class at college. It was a class to help people with Asperger's adjust to college, which my parents pushed me into taking. It was incredibly condescending and insulting, and it felt like a class for preschoolers. My parents won't let me drop the class. FML

Today, after hours of waiting in line, I finally met my favorite band. After posing for a picture, I looked at my phone to find that instead of taking a picture with me and the band, my friend took selfies. FML

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (3352)

On 07/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML


I agree, your life sucks (27948) - you deserved it (4458)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37549) - you deserved it (1787)

On 07/15/2015 at 11:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27496) - you deserved it (1562)

On 07/14/2015 at 6:33am - misc - by ow my kidneys (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was yelled at by a bunch of angry people because I couldn't physically move out of the way while 10 more tried to force their way onto a subway in Shanghai. Then one old lady started hitting me with her purse to get me to move even more. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22232) - you deserved it (1755)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:45am - misc - by anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25280) - you deserved it (3444)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22629) - you deserved it (11043)

On 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by --- - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML

Today, the only reason my husband agreed to marriage counselling is because he finds our therapist attractive. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (2271)

On 07/01/2015 at 9:35am - love - by ouch - Canada (Ontario)

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