Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tehaustiebear

Offline (the 02/11/2015 at 6:23pm) | Search for a member

tehaustiebear

36Liked!

tehaustiebeartehaustiebear
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 April 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1531
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About tehaustiebear : I'm always around if you'd like someone to talk to. Truth is, I probably could use it as much as you could. I tell stories if you want to hear about my life, and I love reading stories if you'd like to share a bit about yours.

tehaustiebear's page activity

Visits<b>arasx0</b> - 13 hours ago<b>AHSFan</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 8:59pm<b>natalea_rae</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 10:28pm<b>thewcloner</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:43pm<b>BritSkits</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 8:50pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 12:55am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 5:17pm<b>cheeeksss</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 5:04pm<b>kjax</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 8:21pm<b>delicatesmile11</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 1:36am<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 12:17am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 8:28pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 2:52pm<b>ninjakitty254</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:13am<b>emily689</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:37am<b>fxxth</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 11:55pm<b>EmoKami</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:40pm

Liked!<b>natalea_rae</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 4:29am<b>kjax</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:21am<b>delicatesmile11</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 7:36am<b>sally089023</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 6:02am<b>12Softball12</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 5:32am<b>mamallama22</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:54am<b>laaryssa</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 10:13pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 4:34am<b>mineller</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 11:44am<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:22pm<b>AHSFan</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:02am<b>goodwithoutgods</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 2:22pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:40pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:21pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 8:06am<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:34am<b>dontlookman</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:24pm<b>raisingbears</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:30pm

tehaustiebear's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of tehaustiebear's badges

tehaustiebear's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52186) - you deserved it (17709)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35545) - you deserved it (4797)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

#20479641
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26549) - you deserved it (43599)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46061) - you deserved it (7283)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (37880)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35278) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14211) - you deserved it (29919)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26946) - you deserved it (7974)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

#17987408
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36037) - you deserved it (7552)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

#12214891
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7891) - you deserved it (54236)

On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
977 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73835) - you deserved it (434358)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: