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teens_forever's favorite FMLs
Today, the feedback my teacher wrote on my English assignment was so horrible that it took me half an hour and help from both my parents to decipher it. It turned out to be a scathing criticism of my "poor communication skills". I hate my teachers. FML
by fluent in two, unlike you / 03/25/2014 at 2:42pm / Mexico / Miscellaneous
by disappointed / 03/25/2014 at 7:36am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
by dani / 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I had gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student there. This happens all the time. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 10:11pm / United States (Kansas) / Health
by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML
by ColoradoGirl420 / 03/24/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
by pantyripper / 03/24/2014 at 8:39am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML
by Dr.Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 7:56am / India (Maharashtra) / Work
Today, I received my employee ID, which I have to wear at all times at my new job. The only problem is that in my photo, I look like a donkey having a seizure. Customers keep snickering at it, and my boss thinks I posed like that deliberately. FML
by Lady Madeira von Cuntshunt / 03/21/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
by KEA_08 / 03/20/2014 at 1:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML
by systematicpanic / 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work
Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML
by cat whisperer / 03/20/2014 at 12:31am / United States / Animals
Today, I was making a special birthday delivery for a customer. As I handed her the fruit basket, I said, "Hey, we have the same birthday! Happy birthday!" She called me an attention whore and slammed the door in my face. FML
by Ma_Nikka / 03/19/2014 at 9:38pm / United States (California) / Work
- Today my manager tried to force me to sign an employee contract (I've worked here a year) that she… Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.… Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided…