teamlightskin

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teamlightskin

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 December 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2811
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About teamlightskin : Imperfection is beauty

teamlightskin's page activity

Visits<b>tweak2011</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 3:27am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 2:08am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 10:47pm<b>TxAsMaD3</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 6:50pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 12:35am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 6:17pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 7:45am<b>Liv3366</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 12:13pm<b>lui_pg</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:06pm<b>wil1029</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:53am<b>Roozb</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:05pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 12:13am<b>Spencyy</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 12:49am<b>SaniK</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 7:51pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 7:44am<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:49pm<b>beautifulmymy</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:16pm<b>achillesJC123</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 1:22pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 6:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:53am

teamlightskin's FML badges

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teamlightskin's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

by Snufflopagus / 01/01/2014 at 8:26am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

by honeybunny90 / 12/28/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML

by rejected / 12/23/2013 at 5:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

by oh why... / 12/20/2013 at 9:51am / United States / Love

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

by abc123 / 12/16/2013 at 11:44am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

by ElephantLover / 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML

by wheezy / 12/03/2013 at 12:28pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health

Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML

by holy sleet / 11/29/2013 at 4:49pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat / 11/27/2013 at 2:08am / United States / Animals

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

by sister sister / 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals