tcook912

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tcook912

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 358
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tcook912's page activity

Visits<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:05am<b>ChemicalInsomnia</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 6:44pm<b>itsb_freed</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 2:23pm<b>randumbnesss</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:58pm<b>JokerJ312</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:13pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:34am<b>connor98</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 3:41pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 4:05pm<b>alexxeon</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 1:48pm<b>killagorilla56</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 4:06pm<b>tanekdrachonae</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 11:36pm<b>Calaraphea</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 3:46pm<b>cookies61889</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 5:21am<b>person0102</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 1:26am<b>Ambient25</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 12:44am<b>guitardedmetal</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 8:22pm<b>awesomeaj67</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 1:08am<b>awkwardfroggy</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 8:00pm

tcook912's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of tcook912's badges

tcook912's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

by kalleylynn / 06/08/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

by ._. / 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Intimacy

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

by VDM / 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm / Kids

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:20am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy