tarv

Search for a member

Online

tarv

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2629
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About tarv : currently 19 as of 2016
-Stonefish pic(he's in the middle)
-6'2-285(and losing)-Like games-Like Netflix and YouTube-Love animals-can be very Caring, loving and supportive-And sit around reading FML's, watching Netflix and YouTube, playing games, and taking my dog for walks.

tarv's page activity

Visits<b>kayzers</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:43pm<b>zoratheexplora</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 2:08am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 10:38am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 11:38pm<b>swick25</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 8:39pm<b>MsBlondie99</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 11:07pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 12:34pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 2:15pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 9:00pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 4:31pm<b>animalover9</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 10:29am<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 12:55pm<b>bambi1989</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 6:56am<b>elborrino</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 9:20pm<b>fmlissoawesome</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 7:53pm<b>aLiYaaH</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 11:52am<b>Bcfrmkc816</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 1:07am<b>karilynn27</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 12:48pm

tarv's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of tarv's badges

tarv's favorite FMLs

Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 4:38am / Intimacy

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

by facepalm / 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

by Ob3nie / 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML

by sex deprived / 06/16/2013 at 1:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

by woof woof?? / 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

by really? / 05/28/2013 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Work

Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

by anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:23am / Australia / Love

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

by SteroidPenguin / 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

by wow / 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm / Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City) / Love

Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML

by DJ / 04/07/2013 at 2:52pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous