Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tartar18

Online | Search for a member

tartar18

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 756
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

tartar18's page activity

Visits<b>Shadowvoid</b> - 6 hours ago<b>meliodafool_</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:32pm<b>markmeis</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:23pm<b>IceMan11</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 11:31am<b>gis0392</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:49am<b>Jamilal16</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 8:32pm<b>GAMERZxxHD</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:24pm<b>Karennnx</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:04pm<b>mythicaltimes</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 2:25pm<b>seetei</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:38pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 8:10am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:41pm<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:30am<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:42pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 9:57am<b>MistyKittyx</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:13pm<b>callalilley</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 6:56am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:16am

Fucked!<b>seetei</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 5:39am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 11:17am<b>lexiieeex3</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:11am<b>kspear2</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 6:37pm<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:33pm

tartar18's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of tartar18's badges

tartar18's favorite FMLs

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (2123)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31053) - you deserved it (4343)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

#21391926
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31711) - you deserved it (9540)

On 04/11/2015 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45381) - you deserved it (3338)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (3096)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was given a new responsibility at the law firm where I work. I'm now in charge of punching holes in every single piece of paper to be found in the office, estimated to be in the hundred-thousands. The reason? I finish my daily clerical work too quickly. FML

#21372587
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25056) - you deserved it (2152)

On 03/11/2015 at 4:15pm - work - by KillMePlease (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87) - you deserved it (24)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML

#21354162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29467) - you deserved it (3278)

On 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

#21329874
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40649) - you deserved it (8433)

On 01/03/2015 at 5:48am - love - by JJ_V3N0M - United States (California)

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

#21321099
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32908) - you deserved it (3055)

On 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm - money - by financially_wreckd (man) -

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38327) - you deserved it (3161)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

#21299949
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35142) - you deserved it (3436)

On 11/16/2014 at 12:29am - kids - by wtfdad - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36497) - you deserved it (2431)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33686) - you deserved it (2795)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: