tallbitch

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Offline (the 08/18/2015 at 3:46pm)

tallbitch

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 492
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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tallbitch's page activity

Visits<b>FordGirl98</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 12:43pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 5:35pm<b>caitycat191191</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 6:53pm<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 10:08am<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 9:40pm<b>swimagirl4321</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 9:18pm<b>makowiec</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 8:07pm<b>MGITSWFTC</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 6:19pm<b>Peeves</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 5:59pm<b>Headcrab</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 5:20pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 4:39pm<b>parism143</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 4:01pm<b>Diegogonzalez99</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 3:59pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 2:44pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 2:40pm<b>mimiminx</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 2:03pm<b>bettyboop428</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:57pm<b>da_directioner39</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:26pm

tallbitch's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

tallbitch's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I handed in the answer sheet an hour into a 3-hour long exam because I couldn't answer most of the questions. Now, everyone thinks I'm genius because I "finished" quickly and they want me to tutor them. FML

by idontknowwhatiamdoing / 04/15/2014 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

by still together / 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML

by the other man / 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

by sweetnan / 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2013 at 11:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

by brokeandalone / 07/30/2013 at 1:09am / United States / Money

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML

by Anonycunt / 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

by Madagascar / 12/19/2009 at 5:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love