taerts

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taerts

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 August 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8548
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About taerts : I like hearts and I like tarts, hence, taerts. I also like Simon Baker and Korean food. I like the world.

I'm pretty damn optimistic :)

taerts's page activity

Visits<b>lenovot61p</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:05am<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:25am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 4:02pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:14pm<b>unluckyorwhat</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 7:28pm<b>greamreaper</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:39pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:15am<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:50am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:31pm<b>robertarose3789</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 5:27am<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 3:20am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 7:42am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:16am<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 2:01am<b>Kazenoe</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 8:08am<b>ohKylee</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 2:31am

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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taerts's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:20am / United States / Kids

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

by geena / 10/27/2012 at 2:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

by birthday girl / 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm / Australia / Animals

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Love

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

by fiftyshardsofbroccoli / 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

by Weasel123 / 10/26/2012 at 3:58am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

by Agirl / 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm / United States / Money

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

by firstdategonebad / 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

by monkeyzz / 10/12/2012 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

by Dino / 10/12/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I entered a stairwell, the fire alarm went off, triggering the automatic fire doors to close. The one I was walking through ran over my foot, ripping my toenail, and then smacked me in the face. FML

by minustoenail / 10/12/2012 at 1:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm / United States / Animals

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

by future missing person maker person thingy / 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 3:03pm / United Kingdom / Health