About tacojauns : I love Animations, Cartoons, Newgrounds, YouTube, Kenny Vs. Spenny(TV Show), Music (Ska, Oldies and Punk are my favorite) and other things like snowmobiling, motorcycleing, hunting, paintball, gambling, Texas Hold 'em etc... message me about anything if you'd like. I'm a regular on this site maybe not a regular commenter but I'm on here pretty much daily P.S. sometimes I write good comment sometime bad most of my comments are sarcastic. oh well
tacojauns's FML badges
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?
tacojauns's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML
by rawkdinosawr / 05/09/2009 at 11:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Love
by t-dawg / 05/09/2009 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation
Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML
by HidenSeek / 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML
by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML
by jlover42 / 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML
by 00Evan / 04/05/2009 at 9:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML
by Jim / 03/27/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML
by ohhotdamn / 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 9:04am / Malta / Intimacy
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML
by ihatevideos / 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by SmoothTalker / 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…