Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tacojauns

Online | Search for a member

tacojauns

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Milwaukee, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 April 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7211
  • Number of comments : 307
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About tacojauns : I love Animations, Cartoons, Newgrounds, YouTube, Kenny Vs. Spenny(TV Show), Music (Ska, Oldies and Punk are my favorite) and other things like snowmobiling, motorcycleing, hunting, paintball, gambling, Texas Hold 'em etc... message me about anything if you'd like. I'm a regular on this site maybe not a regular commenter but I'm on here pretty much daily P.S. sometimes I write good comment sometime bad most of my comments are sarcastic. oh well

tacojauns's page activity

Visits<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 8:25am<b>Rhewn</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:34pm<b>Booksawhi</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 8:50pm<b>aaliyahmlp</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 3:54pm<b>HeidiZiggler</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 10:19pm<b>172pilot</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:52am<b>mjalexsmith</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:08am<b>xbread</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 9:33pm<b>Dedebu</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 8:44pm<b>Destroyer_2_2</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 7:04pm<b>XandraHart</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 2:05pm<b>indigohippopo</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 8:03pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 2:55am<b>kittyisbaeornaw</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:33pm<b>XxCreepaslayerxX</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 3:19pm<b>bb818</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 12:47am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:16am

Fucked!<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 8:56am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 7:03am<b>zarabsegin</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 5:25pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:03am<b>FrostyKittens</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:37am<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:22pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:26pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:48pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 1:00pm<b>Bozo_the_cat</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 9:57am<b>annapanda143</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:03pm

tacojauns's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

See all of tacojauns's badges

tacojauns's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML

#1775796
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19334) - you deserved it (74096)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:48am - love - by rawkdinosawr (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML

#1766885
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8904) - you deserved it (80570)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by t-dawg (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML

#1734899
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102393) - you deserved it (16181)

On 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm - love - by HidenSeek (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23672) - you deserved it (83361)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML

#1529921
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61823) - you deserved it (17711)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm - health - by jlover42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML

#651066
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32440) - you deserved it (79328)

On 03/27/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by Jim (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (186985) - you deserved it (32901)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
531 comments

I agree, your life sucks (251277) - you deserved it (32440)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
915 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62928) - you deserved it (657863)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (186560) - you deserved it (36144)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55671) - you deserved it (32866)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: