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sydneydallas

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sydneydallas
  • Town/Country : United States of America
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1101
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sydneydallas : I'm Sydney, junior @ OHS

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sydneydallas's favorite FMLs

Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML

#18466440
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29221) - you deserved it (2592)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

#18030008
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22088) - you deserved it (3947)

On 10/20/2011 at 8:04am - health - by socal000 (man) - United States

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

#17880531
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26533) - you deserved it (3169)

On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

#17861769
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8067) - you deserved it (17816)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32256) - you deserved it (2559)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML

#17170835
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32842) - you deserved it (3650)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by tLee - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (21187)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27739) - you deserved it (2605)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was told by my mom that I'm a terrible person because I won't help my brother get a girlfriend. He's gay, but won't tell her because he thinks it's hilarious when she yells at me. FML

#14353774
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28164) - you deserved it (3462)

On 12/27/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Username -

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26636) - you deserved it (7630)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94190) - you deserved it (5040)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML

#14175319
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23989) - you deserved it (9427)

On 12/12/2010 at 2:29am - animals - by riddick0846 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9171) - you deserved it (19854)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, on the subway, a little tipsy, I sat down next to a guy I thought was cute, hoping to enjoy some harmless flirting. I said, "Hello." He said, "May I ask you a question?" I said, "Sure." He said, "Can you please move away from me?" FML

#13797443
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9556) - you deserved it (27400)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

#13654098
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33412) - you deserved it (26906)

On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)



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