swordidfate

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Offline (the 10/16/2014 at 2:12pm)

swordidfate

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 705
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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swordidfate's page activity

Visits<b>Camlin93</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:28pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:03am<b>RayStar</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 7:53am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 9:57pm<b>Miikonos</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:45pm<b>jackson_1212</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 2:19pm<b>JBrownie123</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 9:29am<b>Cocainee</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 7:22am<b>dontkilljay</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 9:33am<b>Make_Believe</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 3:27am<b>Zezifus</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 8:03am<b>Kazenoe</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 10:32am<b>jrow87</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 9:37am<b>Nightwolf32</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 8:46am<b>CptWesker25</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 7:55am<b>twiztidlette20</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 11:49pm<b>JhovannyA</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 9:09pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 8:08pm

swordidfate's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of swordidfate's badges

swordidfate's favorite FMLs

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

by rachel / 08/10/2013 at 4:56pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

by his word vs mine = me suspended / 08/10/2013 at 2:41pm / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Work

Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2013 at 7:29pm / Switzerland / Health

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

by pong / 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

by Tea_baggins / 08/06/2013 at 12:01am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I was stretching after a group run. I noticed one of the girls was having problems balancing, so I told her that I have horrible balance too, but that it'll get better. She sneered and said she had a brain tumor when she was a kid, and that's why she has such bad balance. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

by tigger2013 / 08/03/2013 at 12:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter's biggest aspiration is to create a time machine for the sole purpose of going to the '70s to see the Ramones in concert. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals