Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

switchgurl20

Offline (yesterday at 6:07am) | Search for a member

switchgurl20

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 December 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1343
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About switchgurl20 : Weird, quirky.
Im from trinidad in the caribbean. Lifes good, good to be content.
I say stupid stuff without thinking sometimes.
I like grunge rock like nirvana
Punk rock like green day, sum 41, puddle of mudd
Alternative rock like avril lavigne, maroon 5- adam is hot!, switchfoot, foo fighters
Some christian rock like stellar kart, delirious.

If ya feel the need, hit me up with some messages.

switchgurl20's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 1:26pm<b>wvni</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:24am<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:38pm<b>yuubi</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 2:15pm<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 1:23am<b>BU2012</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 11:05am<b>JukeMasterFlex</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 4:47am<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 12:28pm<b>Snugmybaby95</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 11:03pm<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 7:29pm<b>jimbobpete</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 11:02am<b>fmlbear324</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 6:10pm<b>ignoremeimweird</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 4:59pm<b>dami_khan</b> - the 10/07/2012 at 11:18am<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 02/23/2012 at 10:32pm<b>MarineMech2391</b> - the 08/21/2011 at 8:46pm<b>rallets</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 7:12pm<b>iluvboobies</b> - the 07/13/2011 at 7:49pm

switchgurl20's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of switchgurl20's badges

switchgurl20's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

#21213512
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44811) - you deserved it (6078)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm - kids - by kids say the darnedest things - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

#20813368
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61888) - you deserved it (6543)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54965) - you deserved it (6362)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64269) - you deserved it (5160)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45292) - you deserved it (7690)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46749) - you deserved it (3589)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46749) - you deserved it (3589)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70044) - you deserved it (10288)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48886) - you deserved it (9347)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheel chair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21982) - you deserved it (31158)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39921) - you deserved it (4236)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34655) - you deserved it (4471)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a man I once worked with passed away. He was a lovely, caring, and inspirational person whom I looked up to. My husband's form of consolation? "Old people die. Get over it." FML

#20538776
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30916) - you deserved it (3580)

On 03/10/2013 at 10:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35630) - you deserved it (6801)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30496) - you deserved it (2984)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: