About swimgood : Fancy meeting you here.
swimgood's FML badges
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
swimgood's favorite FMLs
Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML
by fuck / 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by ouch / 07/01/2015 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML
by ifeelsoloved / 04/09/2015 at 2:25am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 11:26pm / United States / Health
Today, my girlfriend confessed to cheating on me. Unfortunately, she's a pathological liar and I can't be sure if it's really true, along with half the stuff she tells me on a daily basis. Love is hard. FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 11:02am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 6:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by No thank you / 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by bootyislife / 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by PO'd big bro / 01/12/2015 at 8:11pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by bowler99 / 01/12/2015 at 11:43am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by BlondePsycho / 12/29/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
by smellyhair / 11/02/2014 at 6:28am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML
by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
Today, my dad was doing FaceTime with a friend. He turned his iPhone towards my sister and said "There's my daughter..." He then turned it to me and said "...and there's my ugly son", then walked away. I'm still not sure if it's a joke or not. FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 8:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Geek
- Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at,… Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to… Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there…