About sweatypandalove : Go fuck a landmine.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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sweatypandalove's favorite FMLs
by Miami6and3 / 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by cassidy_smith12 / 08/24/2013 at 10:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML
by Awkward / 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm / United States / Work
Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML
by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
by nutfreak / 08/12/2013 at 11:24am / United States (Maryland) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML
by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 1:38pm / Slovenia (Ruse Commune) / Miscellaneous
by bri_sci94 / 07/23/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids
by thanksdoc / 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 2:55am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML
by notkatvond / 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays
- Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn.… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…