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swagisforchumps

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swagisforchumps
  • Town/Country : Moo moo lakes community, Idaho
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 368
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About swagisforchumps : I'm confused. Oh wait, maybe I'm not. I constantly smell peanut butter And btw, I'm really sexy... Like a tree

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swagisforchumps's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35949) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21586) - you deserved it (4181)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

#20119594
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (1370)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:25pm - health - by hurtinrealbad - United States (Arizona)

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

#20114686
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16199) - you deserved it (1556)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

#20113670
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20418) - you deserved it (1991)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by firstdategonebad - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML

#20103889
138 comments

Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML

#20098216
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11675) - you deserved it (22936)

On 10/02/2012 at 10:42am - love - by Queso Dog (woman) - Japan

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22907) - you deserved it (2368)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my aunt's wedding, the time for the tossing of the bouquet came and the announcer asked for all the single ladies to gather behind the bride. I was the only one. FML

#17479569
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34081) - you deserved it (3013)

On 08/15/2011 at 10:45am - love - by single lady - United States (California)

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

#17241320
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35951) - you deserved it (7835)

On 07/24/2011 at 1:02pm - love - by Lonely (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that the guy I've been sending anonymous, dirty emails to knows who I am. My signature, which includes my full name, was automatically added to the end of every email. FML

#17221822
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7937) - you deserved it (70514)

On 07/22/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24705) - you deserved it (6439)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

#79663
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12909) - you deserved it (25601)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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