Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

swaggalikethat

Offline (the 09/29/2014 at 3:09pm) | Search for a member

swaggalikethat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1785
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About swaggalikethat : I read these while sitting on the John…you know, just for a laugh. Does that mean other people's pain is my pleasure? I don't talk a lot cuz no one really listens. Message me, I'm bored.

Oh yeah things i liiikke…
Boxing
Anime
Spongebob
Video games
Mayday Parade
Green Day
All Time Low
A Day to Remember
Newfound Glory
Panic At The Disco
Stargazing
Running
Poetry
Daydreaming
Guitar
Traveling

…me in a nutshell

swaggalikethat's page activity

Visits<b>YourWitchAnnaG</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:48pm<b>JetCyclone27</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:12am<b>paintedchocolate</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:08am<b>One_Way</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:39am<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 5:56pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 7:23am<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:46pm<b>Jose2018</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:28am<b>yuggi1</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:00pm<b>annamaria55555</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:00pm<b>mdc1</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 8:26am<b>Grmpman</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 11:51pm<b>earlyslayer126</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:16pm<b>DaJoGri</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:32pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:34pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 9:45pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 7:41am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:43pm

swaggalikethat's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of swaggalikethat's badges

swaggalikethat's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50900) - you deserved it (7920)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48052) - you deserved it (7073)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42164) - you deserved it (7991)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44348) - you deserved it (4071)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53970) - you deserved it (6761)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML

#21024776
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37860) - you deserved it (8296)

On 01/11/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by -_-" (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

#21024175
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46129) - you deserved it (5203)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

#21024059
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43453) - you deserved it (4632)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by kyyle - United States (Illinois)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46506) - you deserved it (8746)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML

#21021762
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39552) - you deserved it (11042)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:54pm - love - by Unfortunately Me (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML

#21021758
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48894) - you deserved it (4696)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by loganHchrist - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

#21021435
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44311) - you deserved it (5766)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)

Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML

#21020576
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29275) - you deserved it (56550)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: