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Offline (the 09/29/2014 at 3:09pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2587
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About swaggalikethat : I read these while sitting on the John…you know, just for a laugh. Does that mean other people's pain is my pleasure? I don't talk a lot cuz no one really listens. Message me, I'm bored.

Oh yeah things i liiikke…
Video games
Mayday Parade
Green Day
All Time Low
A Day to Remember
Newfound Glory
Panic At The Disco

…me in a nutshell

swaggalikethat's page activity

Visits<b>CBL88</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 4:18pm<b>PandoraHeart</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 11:33am<b>triangularfrog</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 11:31am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 4:25pm<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 6:04am<b>One_Way</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:52am<b>YourWitchAnnaG</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:48pm<b>JetCyclone27</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:12am<b>paintedchocolate</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:08am<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 5:56pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 7:23am<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:46pm<b>Jose2018</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:28am<b>yuggi1</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:00pm<b>annamaria55555</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:00pm<b>mdc1</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 8:26am<b>Grmpman</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 11:51pm<b>earlyslayer126</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:16pm

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swaggalikethat's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Money

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU / 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

by SarahNB / 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm / United States (Utah) / Money

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 5:42am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML

by Maxime / 02/27/2014 at 7:32pm / Love

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I found out that my son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me, but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

by sonwhy / 02/24/2014 at 7:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

by Author / 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

by goodbye cruel world / 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy