About suslord : The gang's all here.
About suslord : The gang's all here.
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
suslord's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 5:56pm / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML
by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML
by Satan's Mum / 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by Wowthanks / 05/04/2014 at 8:13pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by nh-Amazon / 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm / Egypt / Miscellaneous
by thanksdad / 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (New York) / Work
by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I went to an auction for the first time. When the run-down house I wanted to bid for came up, I opened bidding at £12,000 and surprisingly won. Feeling pleased, I turned to the person next to me and said, "Lucky me!" She replied, "Yes, lucky you!" and then under her breath said, "Cockhead". FML
by Anonymous / 03/06/2014 at 9:52pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm / Russian Federation (Moskva) / Intimacy
Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML
by Anonymous / 02/26/2014 at 4:31am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
by Anonymous / 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead…