suoerkewl

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Offline (the 07/11/2016 at 10:49pm)

suoerkewl

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 22 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1721
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About suoerkewl : Snapchat || patrizle

Hey, my name is Patrik and I like to chill with friends and go to the beach. I like talking to people so feel free to message!

suoerkewl's page activity

Visits<b>2simz</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 8:14pm<b>Tomato_Cheese</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 9:03am<b>cappellaaa</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 10:35pm<b>usernametaken822</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 12:42am<b>anonymous0110902</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 5:19pm<b>missadell</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 10:38pm<b>Desiree_lianne</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:44am<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 12:22am<b>siona</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:51pm<b>Rosieflowers7</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 8:06pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:45am<b>aishah77</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 9:43am<b>baileybutler</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:15pm<b>Twigz666</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 7:29pm<b>_cameronkc_</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 9:55am<b>becccers</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 5:03am<b>lauren12983</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 7:06pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 11:54am

Fucked!<b>siona</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:51pm<b>cappellaaa</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:33am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 1:16pm<b>chicken_noodle</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 2:41am

suoerkewl's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of suoerkewl's badges

suoerkewl's favorite FMLs

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

by dieana / 05/16/2014 at 8:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

by anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML

by not the cook / 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

by mikeissad / 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

by yeah okay then / 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

by tubby / 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm / Sweden (Blekinge Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

by Snickers / 05/12/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

by DaveAlmighty / 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm / United States / Kids

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

by sadmommy / 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Money

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

by sad / 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love