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suicidehacker21's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML
by rofindie / 05/07/2012 at 12:12am / United States (New York) / Money
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 3:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
by dwhite032 / 06/06/2011 at 3:06am / United States (Indiana) / Geek
Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML
by phlyingphuck / 08/31/2009 at 8:44am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML
by reb2632 / 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
- Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted… Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to… Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…