About sugarysofalof : I'm a fat cat.
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sugarysofalof's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to listen to Lou Bega's 'Mambo Number 5' on constant replay for 3 hours, because my little sister was trying to learn a dance for a recital. It would have been even longer than 3 hours, but she then realized that she was dancing to the wrong song. FML
by Anonymous / 07/14/2015 at 1:00pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
by Sarah1330 / 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm / United States / Animals
by no / 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML
by confidence taken / 08/23/2014 at 2:26am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/19/2014 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 5:27am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML
by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck / 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Animals
by FMBs / 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
by onepussytwopussy / 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy
by lovely / 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy
by waymoreiwanted / 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by alii2349 / 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…